When I’m gone
Do you ever think about death? Not a relative’s, friend’s or colleague’s but yours. No? I know I do. One thing comes to mind though. What are people going to say? How will I die? How will my obituary look like?
As is the norm, we prefer obituaries to be tributes and we speak glowingly of the departed. It’s socially unacceptable to speak ill of the dead. As they say, “Of the dead, speak no evil.” Is this just a notion? a mentality that has been deeply embedded in peoples’ minds, that they follow and accept it as the law of the land? Whatever happens to honesty and sincerity when one dies!!
The dead are mostly portrayed as saints. I believe people do that for good reasons; could be the fact that they’d rather be left with good memories of the dearly departed or they are usually trying to protect the person’s reputation, since they can’t defend themselves or just showing compassion for the grieving (correct me if I’m wrong). The point is, we avoid talking bout the complicated parts of the deceased. I’m not saying judge them, just tell the truth. I believe when you are truthful about a person’s life, you honor your experiences. You also get a clearer understanding of the history you shared; how the person shaped you, the kind of influence they had on you e.t.c.
How would you like to die? I’m sure just like me, a couple of you would like to die quickly and peacefully, not from a sickness or something that would prolong the suffering. However, if my death was to be prolonged, I would like to spend my last days surrounded by family and friends; but I would like to be alone during my final moment; I wouldn’t want their last memory of me to be my last breath.
Well, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s go back to my obituary. When I die, I want people to be truthful and honest about how I lived my life (don’t dance on my grave before I’m buried though). If you feel the need to examine my legacy, by all means, do. But what’s the rush? You can always do that a week or a month later; just give my loved ones space to mourn.
If I could write my obituary, I would… I would make it sad and beautiful at the same time, not forgetting to make it short because I wouldn’t count on people’s attention span.
But seriously though, wouldn’t it be so cool if we got to choose how we wanted to die? So when that day comes, people will say, “She died on her terms”