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Dating as a millennial

Dating as a millennial

Dating as a millennial, or should I just generalize and say modern dating, is complicated. I believe almost everyone, if not everyone, wants to love and be loved. However, times have changed and so have the rules of dating, assuming they existed in the first place.

Thanks to technology, the art of face-to-face dating is almost dead; now we are swiping left and right depending on whether or not we like what we see. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing; it’s just different. An activity I seem to have partaken in and quite honestly, enjoyed more than just a bit. While I was nervous to join a dating app and considering I’m as awkward as they come, that type of laid-back dating scene really suits my personality. Let’s just say the pandemic also played a part in it as I had so much time on my hands and decided to give it a try.

I seem to have digressed a bit. Back to dating as a millennial. On top of it being complicated, it is seriously screwed up. Our generation of 20 somethings no longer bother with traditional dating. Most of us have whittled it down to “hanging out” or “talking” and eventually end up couch dating. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not demonizing any of it. It all depends on how comfortable you are with the setting and what you are looking for.

With the existence and popularity of dating apps, people have become more easily disposable because there are so many people you can meet from the comfort of wherever you are. This brings about some unfortunate millennial dating habits. Talk about ghosting; if you are no longer interested in someone, you just stop responding instead of sending a simple note to say, “Sorry, it’s not working.” I think at some point everyone has ghosted or been ghosted. Something we seem to have resigned ourselves to thinking is okay. It really isn’t.

Relationships with no strings attached are another thing. Sex is readily available and there is minimal effort to get to know someone. The hookup culture which values sex more than love is gaining popularity. Some people engage in it based on a mutual understanding, while others aren’t upfront with their intentions. They pretend like they are looking for a relationship whereas they are just looking to hit and quit it. I think there’s more to life than just getting laid and most of the time, sex doesn’t lead to a relationship- sometimes it leads to confusion or another one-night stand with the next person.

I am however very aware that different people are looking for different things, and that’s okay. As an adult, you’re entitled to what you are willing and not willing to accept in your life. If casual dating is your thing, own it and have a go at it. If you are comfortable with just hanging out, do you boo! If you are looking for something more and lasting, you also have the right to have it. Just make sure you clearly state your standards and expectations from the first day. It can be very easy to jump into situations when you’ve just met someone. Don’t be so desperate at the first romantic attention that comes your way that you forego your heart’s desires. If you’re not a casual dater, fucking own it! For the single people, have fun! Relish in your single life and stay safe!

But at the end of the day, it’s your life, your body, and your choice. Know what you want and go after it. Just take the chance; you never know what will happen.

Thanks for listening and by listening, I mean reading.

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