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Real talk

On matters sexuality, nowadays women are learning to separate their emotions from their bodies and engage in casual sex, for fun. However, such women, those who are sexually liberated, are looked down upon by both genders. Society’s point of view reminds us that men are designed to want sex, while women are designed to withhold it. For a man, sleeping with a lot of women can be a point of pride. For a woman, it’s a point of shame.

Current social norms accept that men have it easy when it comes to initiating sexual relationships. On the other hand, women are subjected to humiliation, shame and condemnation if they freely share and own their sexual performances in whatever frequency they desire.

I recently had a conversation with one of my friends regarding society’s take on sexual liberation, especially for women. For Cindy, sex used to be this heavy, serious thing but she has now reclaimed a sense of playfulness and joy in sex.

“I have fed my curiosity and now I’m focusing on my career. I have been in a long-term relationship, I have had a fling, a booty call and a friend with benefits kinda situation. I pay my bills, read lots of books. So yeah, I can enjoy sex!” Cindy says with a sly smile.

When it comes to sex, there’s a lot of stigma surrounding it, especially for women. Conversations around the subject teach us to objectify ourselves instead of celebrating our sexuality; by doing this, we create a culture that demeans female sexuality instead of embracing it.

There is a gender stereotype, when it comes to casual, uncommitted sex. Social norms enforce sexual restraints for women whereas men’s promiscuous behavior is less stigmatized. Wearing a tight skirt or a short dress is mistakenly perceived as a call for attention. An invitation to sex.

Men can have multiple partners, sleep around and not be judged by the society, whereas a woman who can pay her own bills and equally enjoys sex isn’t judged by the same standards.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating for sex everywhere, with anyone and without commitments. For me sex is a personal choice, one that people should be able to assert as long as it conforms to their values.

So, whatever your relationship is with sex, that’s okay!  It’s your right to feel sexually liberated, however that looks for you. Own that part of you!

You may wholeheartedly disagree with my opinion and that’s okay. Whatever your views are, you are entitled to them. I however need to know; why are women the ones who should feel embarrassed or ashamed for simply embracing their sexuality?

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