Perfect Flaws and All

Raw, Unfiltered Thoughts
Is it okay to be sad?

Is it okay to be sad?

“What you feel inside reflects on your face. So be happy and positive all the time.”- Sridevi

Is it possible to be happy all the time? To be honest, I don’t think it’s humanly possible (correct me if I’m wrong) There are times when you are happy and times when you are frustrated, sad or scared and these are normal emotions.

How many of you know someone who is always happy? One who has an amazing life and the ‘nothing ever gets me down’ kinda vibe?  No one? Okay!

The reality is we all go through different emotions at different times and these emotions are not the problem; it’s the behavior that goes with them that can be destructive. Maybe there are people who are able to suppress the ‘negative emotions’ and appear happy all the time, but I don’t think it’s healthy. There is nothing wrong with letting yourself feel the emotions as long as you don’t let them control you. It’s through experiencing challenging situations in life that you learn to appreciate the small moments of joy because it can all change in an instant.

One thing I really struggle with, is preventing my emotions from showing on my face. I have tried to fake smile when I’m frustrated or angry and it never works. It’s too much work. My facial expressions always match the emotions I’m feeling, although not as intense as my face sometimes indicates. I try to really hold back and not say what I’m thinking, but my face always beats me to it. Also, another thing I do when I’m really upset, is I shut down. The reason I do this is because I’m usually trying to process and put my thoughts together so that I can later on address the issue calmly.

Sometimes things don’t go as expected; you might end up disagreeing or getting into a fight. What do you do when you are addressing an issue with a friend and then it breaks into an argument? Or how do you handle reasoning with an unreasonable person?
In my case, I try to avoid or limit my time with people who are always trying to provoke me into acting ‘crazy’ but when it comes to friends, I try as much as possible to avoid arguments. I just can’t stare conflict in the face. My favorite type of dealing with issues is to avoid them at all cost (Very mature, I know!) When my friend and I get into an argument and it gets to a point where I start to get angry; I feel a certain kind of fire in my belly, my heart races, my face becomes red, I clench my fists (okay, I’m being overly dramatic but you get the point), I walk away just to clear my head and to avoid saying something that I might regret. Then after, I either ignore the subject and hope it goes away or address it.

Anyway, back to the issue about being ‘happy and positive all the time. In this age where people only share their most perfect moments on social media, it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one who is going through a tough time. But real life isn’t picture perfect. The truth is, life really sucks sometimes and it’s okay to be vulnerable and to allow yourself to feel and take time to process the emotions.

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.”- Walter Anderson

Think about a time that was difficult and the lesson you learnt. There are people who turn their difficult experiences into amazing experiences. For example, people who survive sexual assault and start support initiatives to help other victims. Life struggles either make us stronger or motivate us to make a difference or do better.

It’s possible to train your mind to see things more positively even in negative situations. Accepting that life isn’t always easy and things won’t always go as planned is having a positive mindset. Being grateful for the smallest things in life is having a positive mindset. Having a positive mindset doesn’t take away the fact that we all experience emotions; be it happiness or anger. You are capable of handling emotions without letting them define you. (This isn’t to say that some situations e.g loss of a loved one, aren’t difficult).

So, no matter what life throws at you, give yourself permission to feel the emotions, be present but also, keep moving forward, step by step, and while at it, try to be positive because the alternative is really crappy.

6 comments found

  1. Life’s a journey with its vicissitudes that may be vicious at times. Fortuitously, I discovered your writings at the same time I learned to accept life the way it presents itself, because it’s ok to have a bad day, to be sad, to feel helpless, without it carrying over to the rest of the life. It’s ok to be human and not the epitome of perfection all the damn time, right?

    Thank you for sharing. You definitely have a follower in me.

    1. Right. It’s okay to be human. We have to constantly remind ourselves that we are human and learn to embrace our experiences.
      Thanks for the follow 🙂

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